Post by Sejiriku on Jan 27, 2006 12:04:33 GMT -5
It's not so much that I'm pissed off... or even angry about things. I'm just so confused. This doesn't make sense...
A few days ago, a young man at the high school I attend was found dead in his closet. This young man, Marcus Gildersleeve, or as his friends had affectionately dubbed him, "Panda," was a person who, up until now, one they thought to be full of life. He was one of those 'crazy goth kids' that would migrate to the park before and after school, and during lunch to smoke with his friends. He wore all black, his hair was always just a little bit fuzzy... But he almost always, always had a smile on his face.
Panda was quiet, a little shy at times too, but only around the people he did not know. Around friends, he was... alive. You could ask any of the people who knew him, and knew him well, and they would tell you the same. He was loud, hilarious, amusing, and above all, friendly. He was cherished by those that knew him well, and even those who only saw him in one class.
No one knew... He never gave any hints, any signs. He was always having fun. Granted, he was not going down the best path for himself, being involved with drugs, but they all were, and they all did it together. He had people that cared about him, loved him, whether they were stoned, drunk, or completely clean. No one knew, he never said a word.
I know several people who were close to him, called him a brother, a best friend... A part of the family that sat out in the park day after day. I know he must have had a great impact on them all, because I see so many tears coming from faces I never thought that I'd see break. I see the strongest souls, the most iron of wills breaking if they even so much as look back at his empty seat in a class... One of my good friends was even late... because she waited to see him come around that corner in the hallway just one last time... To tell him hi one last time.
So no one understands how a boy with so much influence, with so much life and laughter, could have done what he did. Marcus committed suicide, but not through the means by which most people do... No rope, no gun, no cuts, no pills... And no note. Marcus stabbed himself to death... and no one that knew him, can bring themselves to believe that their friend could do that... Not because he was weak-willed... but because he never showed any signs. No one knows what could have driven such a cheerful person to such an extreme that they could even ignore that last final instinct to survive, and stab themselves to death...
I have a funeral to go to today, at 2. I don't know why I'm going... Mostly for those friends of mine who need just one more hand to hold... one more shoulder to hide their tears in. But partly it's because I want answers; we all do. We still don't understand... and we want our Panda back with us...
Marcus "Panda" Gildersleeve
October 19th 1987 - January 23rd 2006
"The park was horribly quiet
without you today."
Rest in Peace, Panda.
We still love you...
A few days ago, a young man at the high school I attend was found dead in his closet. This young man, Marcus Gildersleeve, or as his friends had affectionately dubbed him, "Panda," was a person who, up until now, one they thought to be full of life. He was one of those 'crazy goth kids' that would migrate to the park before and after school, and during lunch to smoke with his friends. He wore all black, his hair was always just a little bit fuzzy... But he almost always, always had a smile on his face.
Panda was quiet, a little shy at times too, but only around the people he did not know. Around friends, he was... alive. You could ask any of the people who knew him, and knew him well, and they would tell you the same. He was loud, hilarious, amusing, and above all, friendly. He was cherished by those that knew him well, and even those who only saw him in one class.
No one knew... He never gave any hints, any signs. He was always having fun. Granted, he was not going down the best path for himself, being involved with drugs, but they all were, and they all did it together. He had people that cared about him, loved him, whether they were stoned, drunk, or completely clean. No one knew, he never said a word.
I know several people who were close to him, called him a brother, a best friend... A part of the family that sat out in the park day after day. I know he must have had a great impact on them all, because I see so many tears coming from faces I never thought that I'd see break. I see the strongest souls, the most iron of wills breaking if they even so much as look back at his empty seat in a class... One of my good friends was even late... because she waited to see him come around that corner in the hallway just one last time... To tell him hi one last time.
So no one understands how a boy with so much influence, with so much life and laughter, could have done what he did. Marcus committed suicide, but not through the means by which most people do... No rope, no gun, no cuts, no pills... And no note. Marcus stabbed himself to death... and no one that knew him, can bring themselves to believe that their friend could do that... Not because he was weak-willed... but because he never showed any signs. No one knows what could have driven such a cheerful person to such an extreme that they could even ignore that last final instinct to survive, and stab themselves to death...
I have a funeral to go to today, at 2. I don't know why I'm going... Mostly for those friends of mine who need just one more hand to hold... one more shoulder to hide their tears in. But partly it's because I want answers; we all do. We still don't understand... and we want our Panda back with us...
Marcus "Panda" Gildersleeve
October 19th 1987 - January 23rd 2006
"The park was horribly quiet
without you today."
Rest in Peace, Panda.
We still love you...
